Date night always unfolds predictably for a gooner like you. Stimulating that hand to my clips constitutes the height of romance! Stroke away the ache as you try to suppress the reality of eternal solitude. I enjoy leaving you with a glimmer of hope, but we both recognize the truth. You’ll never bed me. You’ll never court me. Your sole rendezvous will forever involve your hand. Admit it. Embrace it. Life becomes simpler once you embrace date night with my clips. This is your anticipation during work hours. It’s all you ponder when elsewhere. Let’s face it—you’re not even keen on genuine dates. Your comfort zone resides here; it’s your realm. However, the notion of taking me out… does it not stir excitement within you?
